light up the shining night stars

Look at the stars. See yourself in them.

Life Update || mostly normal stuff — February 23, 2017

Life Update || mostly normal stuff

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Hey y’all! I’m determined to do a life update every month because ever since I’ve started properly blogging, my personal posts have fallen on the way-side. I know that I love reading other’s posts about their days and life updates; I also love reading back my own. Therefore, here we are!

College reopened on 13th feb

Sem 2 was supposed to begin on 27th Jan, then 6th Feb, and finally began on 13th. By then most of the students’ parents were fed up of having us at home, with nothing to do, and we were hella bored. What I missed most were the bus rides to and from college. Most times I’ll just listen to music and stare out, lost, or we’d all be talking. Since most of the students travelling in my bus are the same year as me, we have a lot in common and have loads of fun. I do hate that I have to get up, bath and get ready before sunrise to catch the bus on time, but I love the ride.

This semester I’m in the Chemistry cycle so my subjects are Engineering Chemistry, Programming in C, Computer Aided Engineering Drawing, Basic Electronics, Engineering Math-2 and Environmental science. My whole batch has been waiting eagerly to get to this cycle because it’s very chilled. We used to envy Chem cycle students when we were in the physics cycle—mostly because they seemed to have so much freedom and less pressure! Don’t get me wrong, I got really good teachers last sem and I’m grateful for that, but I’m stoked to study subjects I like (programming) and not having too much pressure. The subjects are easy enough this time, except electronics which is rumoured to be a bit tough.

So far, classes have been good and we weren’t given assignments on the first day itself like last time, so I’m hoping it’s a good sign about the next few months. Gotta say, going back to programming—even if it’s only C which is the basics that I already knew for years—has made me happy. So far I’ve had one lab for it, and it was divine.

College fest!

My college’s fest is being held in the beginning of March and there’s so much going on for it. Students from first year are going around to colleges to campaign and sell tickets etc, and there’s so many good events lined up. I can’t wait! There’s one—hogathon—which I particularly can’t wait for. Food Although in the end I decided not to participate and now am just volunteering.

Going back to a routine feels good

During the holidays I just didn’t have a set routine and I felt so off. I spent many days planning and being productive, but largely, I was bored. The only problem is that since I’ve got college six days a week, if I have to go to the doctor or the hospital, I have to miss classes for it. That’s bumming.

My physical health

It all started with a simple wound when I tripped while boarding a bus in a rush. Right now, the only thing worrying is that my platelet count is low, and was decreasing until this week, and I’ve apparently got an allergic reaction to pollen dust (never had before). I’m having kiwi, papaya, pomegranate, papaya leaf juice, tablets etc everyday. Apparently it’ll take a few months to come back to normal, but since we don’t know why it’s decreasing (haven’t had fever or dengue, which are the usual reasons) it’s a concerning matter. The doctors say that as long as my count is above 30k it’s fine. But I don’t understand why the recommended range is 1.5 lakh to 4 lakh. I’m not feeling very tired or anything, so hopefully everything will become alright. The past months have been so taxing to my mom regarding my health, and I feel guilty for it. I hope it all clears up soon.

It’s Ethnic day in college today!

I’m in fact writing this a few days in advance because I know that I’ll have assignments and other stuff to do. Ethnic day is basically one day in a year when all the students wear sarees etc—clothes which relate to their religion—during the day. We’ll have classes as normal, but we’ll just be dressed up. Now, I’m not a fan of dressing up and I tried to get out of the two occasions which required it during senior year. To no avail, though. My friends pestered me until I attended. This time, too, it’s the same. I will definitely go to college, and wear something dressy, but whether I’ll dress up completely and go all-for-it like others still remains to be seen. I honestly would have skipped if I didn’t have programming lab that day. One of my friends is even resorting to threats to make me dress up really good. I’m threatening her back that if she wants me to come at all, I’ll wear what I want.

I went out a few times with friends

I usually don’t simply go out with friends far from home to hang out, mostly because my mom is very over-protective and doesn’t allow me to. (Being 18 isn’t like other countries here) So I kinda lied to her and went out three times to different places, watched La la land, and had loads of fun. I’m not planning to do it again soon, though. Lying to parents about my whereabouts doesn’t come to me easily.

My best friend is a heavenly gift on Earth

In all the years I’ve known her, I haven’t really told Hem about my depression. And lately I’ve been breaking down a lot more and I knew that if I talk to her I’ll feel better. But I won’t be able to pretend since she’ll know from the tone of my voice that I’m not okay. So I finally broke and told her everything late night after spending a whole evening crying.
Sure, she yelled at me for never telling her and she regretted that she never knew or even suspected that I’m not in a good place mentally. So the next day, she set up a small surprise for me which meant everything. When I came home from college, my dad told me that a friend came by (didn’t tell me the name). Since it was in the afternoon and usually no one comes, I didn’t suspect anything. He said that she kept something on my table. I find this on my table:

It’s the Oreo Silk chocolate bar, which we all love, a few Pulse toffees which I’m pretty much obsessed with, and the Red Velvet Cornetto ice cream cone which I wanted to try so badly (it tastes really good, if you’re wondering). And with them, the one-sentence note. This made my day a thousand watts brighter and I just couldn’t stop grinning! She’s my best valentine ❤

And that’s about it, for this month! How was your last month? Anything new happen? What did you do different? Tell me everything!

Life Update — January 19, 2017

Life Update

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Hey y’all! When you’re reading this I’ll be at my maternal grandparents’ place, trying to get through these days and just get back home because, well, I’m not fond of this place and my relatives. But let’s forget that, and let’s catch up on everything that’s happened since we last spoke, shall we?

Birthday and New Year’s

The first thing I’ll talk about is my 18th birthday. There wasn’t much fanfare, as most of my friends were not in the city since it was holidays. A couple of my best friends came over and we just hung out, had pizza as I had been craving for that a lot and that’s it. My family doesn’t do much for New Year’s because one, it’s not OUR New Year’s and two, we don’t party. So I spent it at home watching TV with mom and went online at 12 to respond to wishes. I tried to watch the fireworks which were lit at a mess really close to home but the trees in front of our balcony blocked most of the view from that direction.

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Exams

The last two of my semester exams were held later so all I did was study study and study. I had set up my Jan bullet journal spreads a couple weeks in advance because I knew I wouldn’t be able to during exams so I was covered there. My last exam ended on 6th and I had already accumulated a list of things I wanted to do in the holidays. The first five days of my tiny vacation were spent busy. I got creative and made bookmarks, blogged, caught up on my reviews and read books.

A funny drawing a friend made.

Design Your Destiny

Design Your Destiny are a set of worksheets to do for a few weeks which help in setting your goals for 2017 and properly planning. You know that I’m all about planning, and I signed up for it during exams and saved the worksheets. Once I was free, I sat down to do them and I actually liked the worksheets! As I had already planned my resolutions, the last two worksheet sets weren’t as useful. It required to plan everything and get all of it down right then, and I wasn’t comfortable with that. I love planning, but I don’t plan every single thing and tend to stay a little flexible. These worksheets are made by Kim at Sublime Reflection (@bossgirlbujo on IG).

My Bullet Journal

I’ve shifted to a new notebook for my next bullet journal as, fortunately, the last one ended right on time. I’m using the Doodle notebook which I talked about in this post. It’s working pretty well and I’m trying to keep a bit minimalistic with colours and cursive only for the headings and quotes. It goes good, and I love it! I will show pictures of my January spreads next month.

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Some planning related to the blog

Since my blog does not pertain to only one topic such as books or planning, there are many monthly posts I could do. There are wrap-ups, life updates, challenge updates, TBR for the month etc. I finally narrowed the ones I want to do monthly and I have a clear idea. For now, my plan is to post 5 reviews a month and the monthly posts spread out.

I also see such wonderful weekly blog posts started by bloggers such as Stacking the Shelves and Top Ten Tuesdays. While I still think about doing them, I simply have a few too many posts to do and I’d rather not type up posts and publish them immediately, like how they require. If you’re not aware, I usually type up posts in advance and schedule them. Like, right now, I’m actually writing this a couple days in advance because I can’t when I’m at my grandparents’. Scheduling takes off so much stress and I’m never worried about blogging because I usually have the posts down in advance.

I’m also planning to make my wrap-ups better and more fun. Let’s hope it works!

#BlogRechargeChat

Charley and I missed December due to school and college but we hosted one this month on the 14th and we spoke about 2017 plans. We also put up a poll for what you want us to discuss next month. When this post goes up, the poll will still be up, so make sure to vote your choice if you want to join!

P.S. we have made a group for this. If you’d like to be added to it to receive instant updates on further chats, comment below with your twitter handle and I’ll add you.

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Chilling with friends

My best friends Hem and Mana live close by and therefore we meet very frequently. And by that I mean almost every day, now that our college classes are off.

Basically us

We meet so often that on the days we don’t, everyone is shocked. Last week we didn’t meet for a couple dates straight and when Mana told her friends that through text, they didn’t believe her. They were pretty shocked. The same day, this was my conversation with mom:

Me: “I’ll go grocery shopping with dad in the evening.”

Mom: “When are you meeting your friends?”

Me: “I’m not meeting them today.”

Mom: “Why not?? It’s been a while.”

Me: “Umm.. it’s only been two days?”

Mom: “Well, yeah, but you three would meet every eight hours if that was possible!”

We three laughed a lot about it when we met next.

Bookstagram

Since we three are almost totally free anyway, I roped them into helping me with bookstagram photoshoots. I’ve started posting ebook photos and have also decided on a theme! Until now I totally wasn’t sure on what theme I could use, because everything was already being used. The one I decided on now came up out of the blue when I was trying to think how to set up a shot. The besties said it sounded good, so we got on that and took about half a dozen set-ups. We took about 20 shots of each with different filters, angles and light settings. It’ll be hard for me to choose.

I’m planning to start on the theme a few weeks later, once I’ve posted all the photos which don’t go with the theme first. Fingers crossed it’ll come out well!

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And that’s about it! My second semester classes begin January 27th. The holidays are flying by so fast! Every day I relax, I feel unproductive and that I wasted a day. Oh well.

What’s new in your life? What are you doing? Have you planned anything for your blog? How is your 2017 going up until now? I want to know everything! 

How my year has been — December 30, 2016

How my year has been

(this will be a long post, brace yourselves :P)

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Time seems to move so fast, and yet so slow. I honestly can’t believe how quickly this month even went by. It almost feels like only two days back I was reminded by my friend that my birthday is a month away, and yet here we are today!

Everyone’s life is different, and how this year was for everyone would obviously be different. Somewhere out there a person now believes in love, while another would have conquered their fear of heights. Someone would have opened up a business of their own, and several someones had their first baby. Every year is a beginning and an end. Every day is. That’s why we call every day a new beginning, because every day you are someone you have never been before, and you have a choice to completely change yourself. You have a multitudes of choices the second you wake up every day.

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Summarizing 366 days (this was a leap year peeps!) in one blog post will be hard. There have been so many developments this year, so many changes, good things and bad things. I could have altogether skipped this and just recapped my blogging journey on my blog’s first anniversary. I could have done a post on things I’m leaving behind this year, or anything else. But as much as I find this daunting, I want to recap on the highlights of this year. I find that there is something so magical about looking back on a period of time—you notice the ways in which you’ve changed, and how you’re also still the same.

A year back today, I was in school, attending extra classes which were held to complete the syllabus. I was more worried about my studies and how I would manage all of that in the coming months, to notice that in two days a new year begins. 2016 was a year where I didn’t make any resolutions or goals, because I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go and I wasn’t even sure of where I was. The last months of 12th grade were like a stretched period of being in between, not here in school but not there in college. Everything, everything, banked upon my studies and how well I did in my finals. I had long since stopped reading much novels so as to make myself study more and reduce distractions. It hindered me and I ended up being not really happy or enjoying my days. I finally started reading again in the prime time right before exams when I shouldn’t have but I needed something other than studies! To vent and share my thoughts I started this blog, and I am so glad I did.

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This year has been recorded and evaluated more because I blogged; and I blogged about my life, new hobbies took up, new interests, and some journal entries. I actually used to keep journals 6th through 9th grades and afterwards I just didn’t want to write. Writing made me slow and there was so much in my head I wanted to get down, my hand couldn’t catch up. Finally, I just didn’t have the time and I stopped.

In 2016 I wrote too many exams. There were pre-finals and finals for 12th grade, entrance tests to get into college, three sets of college internal tests and also most of my semester finals. Two are left yet.

I’ve had two of my very close friendships fray, and I mourned for both of them. I dated for the first time, and we broke up after only three weeks. (If you’ve been following me for a few months, you’d know, I spoke all about it) I was asked out by someone else after that, but I declined (well this year was eventful for my “love life”). I’ve had complications, narrowly avoided fights by being blunt and direct and making everything clear. The only constants in my life are my squad and my inner circle. Only after beginning college, after we’ve all been separated, have I realised how amazing our friendship is. My group will NEVER grow apart. Our parents expected it to happen like all other school friendships, that we’ll grow out of it and soon lose touch. We didn’t think that, but mostly we hoped that we wouldn’t.

The thing is, I don’t think we noticed it much, except that we couldn’t make immediate plans like earlier. We all still talk and meet often and talk to one another individually, and there is absolutely no distance because we don’t study in the same institutions anymore. All of us knew our group was something special but until recently we had a very big thing in common. We, too, weren’t sure what would happen if that denominator was removed, and nothing happened.

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A friend and I were only talking about this the other day, how after beginning classes in college and making friends we’ve realised that not all school friendships are like this. Everyone tries to keep in touch and meet but almost immediately there’s a little distance, which will grow, which is what our parents told us would happen. All of my friends in college don’t talk much about their school friends. The seniors advice that we should make good friends and groups and that these will stay throughout the years, even after college. Every other freshman is trying to make concrete friends while I am in the midst mentioning my school friends so frequently. My friend, whom I was talking to about this, was saying that she’s really close to me to a college friend of hers, and that we were for life, if not anyone else, and her friend apparently became offended because he thought he was that. Hardly anyone expects that you’d stay so close to your school friends, you know?

Now, school friends are the ones who have seen me change and know me totally, but college friends are only acquainted with the more outgoing me and the crazy me. I actually know a lot of people in college that I myself am surprised! And I can almost see long-lasting friendships in the making :’) Can I just have a little dance that I made new friends and didn’t remain a lone person like I expected as I’m an introvert? (It almost happened by the way. I only narrowly missed that outcome.) I’m part of a very cool group of friends in college, and I absolutely love hanging out with them.

Okay, enough about my love for all my friends or I’ll go on and on.

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While writing this post I sent the previous line to my best friend Hem, and this is what she replied on SnapChat

I not only visited the first beach ever in my life, I visited TWO this year! There wasn’t much travelling , with no stretch of holidays available, so those were the two travel highlights. I also made an Instagram account solely for my blog. I can post book stuff on there, yas! One of my friends actually complained that I posted too much of books on my personal account. I also started using twitter, once I made one “for the blog”. Honestly it shows more of what I do in my life than stuff on the blog. I also got Pinterest! Basically my social media life increased lol.

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A few more highlights:

  1. I went to Comic Con for the first time!
  2. I was sent my first ARC by an author! (I still can’t believe it OMG)
  3. I got locked at home! I was alone and I had friends coming over. Right when they rang the bell and I went to open the main door, I couldn’t! I have an automatic lock installed and it somehow broke inside, or a small part slipped. It’s pretty old so I guess it had to happen sometime. I called my dad and somehow talking through the door with my friends and my dad, we assessed the situation and decided that the only option was for me to break open the lock. Through a window near the door (life saver), dad passed me some tools and I broke the lock. Technically, I dismantled it, by removing one screw (the rest weren’t coming off!) and then break-opening it the rest of the way by force. That was a fun experience lol.
  4. I cut my hair to the shortest it’s ever been since 7th grade, and I love it! I don’t want to have long hair for at least quite a while now. Short hair feels like freedom. Not to mention, it suits me a lot and I look good.

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I started bullet journalling this year, and I love it. It keeps me so organised and I do things in my day just so I can mark it in my monthly tracker. It has now been 7 months since I started. It’s also very useful for keeping up my blog stuff. I totally recommend it to everyone. I also drew quite a few mandalas and got Hem hooked up on them too! She now makes them whenever and wherever she can lol.

I went to my first party. I honestly never thought I would, being the introvert I am. It was a fresher’s party, and I did take breathers when being in a crowd was becoming too much, but I had loads of fun and danced so very much! That night made some good memories :’)

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My best friend DJ :’)

My personality has been changing for the past two years, but this last year has seen the most change in me. I’m now more confident about myself, I say “yeah I know I’m awesome” in a jokey way too, but jokey or not, I do believe that. I don’t look at myself in the mirror and feel insecure. And this year, because I actually made friends in college, I realised that people do like me, and they don’t have to know me for years to understand that I’m not being rude or standoff-ish (although sometime it does get seen that way). As I’ve done all my schooling in ONE school, there has not been a change of scene where I’d be left alone and have to interact. So, let’s conclude saying that I’m really happy about this year.

I’ve also grown closer to my mom, whereas before it was mostly a normal teenage daughter-mom relationship with fights and me feeling misunderstood; this year I’ve made more of an effort to be a better daughter to both my parents and I have to say, I do have a good relationship with them. I can’t even remember the last time I fought with my parents for real, which didn’t fizzle out in the next few minutes. Happier life, peeps—stop fighting with your parents.

Snapchat-2085055456.jpgI’m still living in the same house as the past 12 years. We actually thought that we might shift to another apartment but the environment and ambiance of the area where I live is the best. I know several people here and even while I’m just going out for a walk, I sometimes happen upon my friends because most of us live around here. We went to this school because it’s close in proximity and the best part of living nearby is that a couple people could just meet up and make a round of the place and call everyone whose house happens upon the way. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been called by my friends, saying that they’re in front of my building and to come down in five minutes, while I was reading or watching a movie. I left whatever I was doing, quickly changed into jeans and grabbed a jacket and left with just my mobile and keys.

Because I started blogging, I’ve come across many new books, credits to the amazing book blogger community and all the readers. I haven’t read as many books as last year (some time went for blogging, after all) but I didn’t do too bad! I read close to 200 books.

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So overall, I really liked this year. It had it’s ups and downs, but I’m happy with the bigger picture. I’m excited to see what the next year brings! I’m officially 18!

 

How was YOUR 2016? What changed, what stayed the same and what made you happy? 

Life Update (where I talk about anything I can) — December 10, 2016

Life Update (where I talk about anything I can)

Hey everyone! (A bit of warning: I’m talking a lot of details and rambling)

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So this post has been a long time coming. Ever since I started publishing posts every few days instead of everyday, I’ve had enough posts and the life updates sorta fell behind. This month though, I’m not really prepared for since I have my semester finals beginning on the 14th.

Exams and holidays

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Let’s do this! (I really like SnapChat) (Hint: follow me. I’m iridescencey)

Now, it sucks to be having exams during Christmas and New Year. While everyone will be partying and celebrating the start of a new year, me and my fellow university students will be studying Elements of Mechanical Engineering. I particularly feel sad for Christians because they get one day/festival in the whole year and that is ruined because of these exams. In fact, most other autonomous colleges and other universities are done before Christmas and several of my friends will be home for the holidays but I won’t be able to spend a lot of time with them before they go off to dorms again.

That is what annoys me the most, really. I don’t celebrate Christmas and neither do I usually do anything special for new year therefore this wouldn’t have mattered to me if my friends weren’t on holidays here. By the time my exams are over and my holidays start (6th Jan) they’ll be back to college. This is the first time all of us have been separated after years in school and I miss my friends a lot. So, yeah, I’m sad about that. I will meet then and hang out but not much.

My best friend DJ said that he’s planning to camp at my home from Dec 14th (the day he comes back) and annoy me and just hang (he’s joking, obviously) (I think).

I will be having exams from 14th Dec to 6th Jan and about three weeks of holiday after that, then second semester starts!

Until now

snapchat-8804057534864819638I went to Comic Con last month with DJ (who came here for the weekend just for it) and another friend. It was so fun! I got several posters and a GoT charm bracelet (which I love so much).

I’ve been searching for a dot grid notebook for months to use as my bullet journal but I never found one! The ones on Amazon are around one to two thousand rupees, and I’m not spending that much. In the comic con, a stall had their own notebooks and printed a few in dot grid, and I got so enthusiastic and bought one immediately.

 

I also went to Chennai with my parents for a weekend last month and it was a lot fun. We toured, went to the beach, and the place we stayed was very cool. I loved the plan and the view, and how cozy it was. It was sort-of like a bed-and-breakfast, I suppose. And the beach! It spread out over a large area (I believe it’s the longest beach in India and second longest in the world).

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What I am doing now

My external labs just got over, so two finals are done. I had them on the 3rd and the 6th of this month. Right now I’m studying as much as I can, learn topics I’ve never done before and prepare to revise because I will be getting a few days for each subject (except physics for which I get only one) and I plan to only revise properly during then.

I don’t have college so you can say that I have study holidays now. I sleep late, wake up waay late and just go about chilling. I’m actually catching up on all the sleep I didn’t get during the semester classes when I used to sleep sometime after midnight and woke up around 6 am.

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A hangout area in my college during the third internal exams. People studying everywhere.

 

Here’s basically how my days go:

I wake up around 9:30 am (sometimes even 10:30) and brush my teeth and drink water first. After that, I pop in my earphones and listen to music while making my bed and taking out my bullet journal, seeing what I have to do today. I love making my bed and seeing it all neat, especially since I love being organised. A messy bed just puts me off when I’m around to see it. During college days, since I come home only around 5:30 pm and go out again half the days for a bit, I don’t have time to straighten my bed.

My college day schedule was basically:

  • get up at/before 6am,
  • have a bath and get ready,
  • have a small breakfast if I’m not feeling too queasy,
  • get to the bus stop near my home by 6:45 (which is a 5 minute walk away)
  • Listen to music or talk to my friends in the bus the whole ride. The days we have tests or labs (which have a test every lab) or internal exams, we all study in the bus. This is the first time I’m travelling every single day, because my school was a 10-15 minute walk away. I find that listening to music in the morning makes my day, and get’s me up and running. I also really like studying in the bus, because I can discuss with my friends who have the same subjects as me, and quickly revise. That 40 min to 1 hour journey is very useful in the mornings. I like it, contrary to what I thought.
  • We reach sometime before 8am. Our classes start at 8.
  • We have a short break from 10:40 to 11:10 am, during which I run to the canteen and go up to the second floor as soon as I can. I see all my friends, we share food, talk etc and then we all start at 11:05 am and rush back to make it to class. For some, classes end at this time and they go home.
  • Then lunch break at 12:50 pm till 1:30 am. Two days of the week I had off then; I either stayed back and hung out with friends and did my assignments, or I went home.
  • If I come back by college bus which starts at 4pm, I reach home after 5. Then, my schedule is as I want it to be. I go out sometimes, meet my best friends, maybe go for a walk myself etc.

So, I hardly had time to make my bed or even care about it. (wow so much for one thing) (I should stop)

This month

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  1. I plan to study on my time, chill, meet friends, hang out with them a bit, and blog some and read some. I also watched half of Attack on Titan on DJ’s insistence. As I write this, I’m watching season one of The Missing. Zoella and PointlessBlog have been raving about it in their vlogs so I thought I’d watch it!
  2. I recently started using the Forest app, which is free in the android play store, and I really like it! I’ve also been watching a lot of youtube videos of studying and many recommended studying in 25 minute blocks with 5 minutes of break between two blocks. I’ve found that this method works when I’m not in the mood to study. It’s also very satisfying to see a tree grow in the app and to see how long I’ve studied. P.S. the app is all snowy for Christmas now and it even gives Christmas presents under the tree grown when you study for long periods of time, and I’m digging it!
  3. As for habits, I’ve started exercising a bit everyday! I’m not exactly fat but I’m not far from that. I just think exercising would be a good way to burn my muscles (because I get good sleep only if I’m really tired and my muscles ache a bit). Also, since I don’t really have time, I can’t go for running (plus, I run very bad and would not subject the public to watching me run), so exercising it is! I’ve exercised every day, at least a bit, in this month and I plan to keep it up!

In the November Wrap-up, I said that I’ll mostly be posting life updates, but I came up with a few posts and you might be seeing some worthwhile posts after all!

 

How is your life going? Anything new happen? Comment down below and let’s chat!

What I’ve learnt about myself in college — November 6, 2016

What I’ve learnt about myself in college

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College is a whole new era of life, and there are so many new things you learn, especially about yourself.

I studied in the same school for 12 years and most of my friends have known me for at least a couple years, which was the duration when I changed the most. Therefore they don’t notice and mention the sudden changes, just the glaring ones like me being more social. Now, beginning my first year of college and meeting new people, I’ve accumulated some things people tell me and have started to realise facts about myself.

I’m an all-the-time happy and cheerful person

Many people I’ve met have commented on this, and I’ve been asked twice how I’m always cheerful. I’m glad that I’m seen this way, it kinda makes me proud of myself. My friends consider me as the light in our group—I make them happy when I’m around and if I’m sad, they become sad, too. After I broke up with my boyfriend, one of my friends actually told me that I’m the happy person in our group and that it makes them sad seeing me sad.

I speak fast

I knew I read fast, but I didn’t know I speak fast. I’ve been told at least 6 times that I speak fast. The first two times was by the same person at two different times and I figured it was just him, but later I was telling a couple friends a story and they just stared at me. When I finished, they looked at each other and commented how I could go for a rap battle.

Another time, I was telling another incident and Kevin looked to another friend and said, “that’s how you must narrate to keep others interested and never bored.” I take that as a big compliment, considering I tend to say stories quite a bit 😀

A couple times, people asked me why I rap when I speak. Um, no, I don’t rap. Once, I responded that it’s because my brain is too fast and that I need to get everything out in time. The other person asked me to repeat what I said slower, lol.

I actually asked a couple of my besties from school whether I speak fast and after a few seconds of deliberation, they responded that they’re used to me and they can’t say. But I guess this got Hem to notice and a few hangouts later she mentioned that I do, in fact, talk fast. They’re just used to my speed and don’t have difficulty in keeping up anymore.

I’m crazy

Okay, I openly admit that I’m crazy and high all the time, which also earned me a friend in his second year of college. He tells me that I’m the only person he’s met who doesn’t care and admits themselves as crazy.

Other than that, here are a couple incidents. My bestie Neethu has a different group of friends in college. One girl, Kajol, who is also a friend of Hem through pre-university college, never spoke to me until a month later. Why, you ask? Because I’m crazy. Of course, she never told me this herself. Let me narrate a small story to you.

One day (about a week into college) Neethu, Kajol and a couple others came up to the second of of the canteen (cafeteria) and Neethu, another guy from our bus and I were talking about something. I, as usual, was happy and dancing for no reason. Neethu asked me why I’m high suddenly (she knows I’m always like that but I was dancing little more that day) and I replied, “For absolutely no reason, Neethu! You should be happy! Just like that! Be happy, Neethu! Be happy!” And I might have jumped a couple times while saying that. Kajol was staring at me and turned back to her friends and they all shared looks of how high is this girl? When Neethu was leaving later, I pulled her aside and told her to tell her friends I am, in fact, sane XD

After that, Kajol always looked at me like she’s afraid to approach me. Last week when she finally spoke to me asking where Neethu is, I exclaimed “she actually spoke to me!” to another friend after she was away lol.

Another instance: I was telling my friend Vijju about how Kajol looks at me as if I’m certifiably crazy. Now, Vijju is this person who never keeps a straight face, is always laughing and finding double meaning in everything. But this once, she kept a straight face like NEVER before and said, “You are. Very crazy.” Oh well.

I’m decisive

I never really thought about this before but I have a friend, Anee, who is never decisive and this irritates me to no bounds. After a few times of me telling her to make a decision and stick to it (which she never does), she started asking me to make small decisions for her.

For example, the other day, her classes ended at 10:40am while I had till 3:10pm. Our bus only leaves at 4pm, which is the maximum extent of class timings. She spent a couple hours in the library and at lunch, another friend was asking her if she wants to go home as he will be (they’re in the same class) and she told him to ask me. I said, “Why ask me? It’s you who’s going to stay or go,” and she replied, “because you know how bad I’m at making decisions, so you just make them for me.”

I laughed and said, “How am I supposed to decide for you?” she linked her arm with me and answered, “I go where you go.” We all laughed. (Did I mention she’s a complete kid most times? Well, she is.)


And those are the highlights of me!

I love remembering small moments and conversations, and blogging these are a way of remembering them, for me. If I remember back, there are quite a few normal conversations that I remember more than details of an important function or event. It’s these minutes that make up my life, and I love love love remembering them.

Do you relate to any of these facts I mentioned? Do you love small moments too?

Me, me, me and ME! — September 19, 2016

Me, me, me and ME!

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Because why not?

As much as I’m an introvert and seem quiet and shy, I actually like talking about myself. I’ve noticed that I’m very good at turning conversations to about me, and do it pretty often unintentionally.

Also, I became bored with common tags which ask me to give facts about myself (sorry if anyone tagged me for them and I didn’t do it). I’m not gonna use ’em for talking about myself, lol.

So! Here are a few thing about yours truly:

  1. I hum a lot. Also sing in a low voice almost all the time, loudly when I’m alone. I actually love singing (psst, don’t tell my mom that) but don’t like to in front of others. My voice isn’t any good, anyway.
  2. I was an INTJ-F. Now, I’m INFJ-T. Have you taken your personality test online yet?
    It’s Intraversion (I), Intuition (N), Thinking (T), Judging (J). Well I took mine a few years back and my reaction was, “HOW do they know about me so well?” Its horrifyingly accurate. Recently, I changed a lot and took the test again and shifted from “The Architect” to “The Advocate”. I admit, this is a lot like me, although I’ll take the test again next year or so. Pretty sure I might change more. Part of the college experience right?
  3. Despite initially hating occassional blogging, I got adjusted to it and find that it fits with my current life schedule. I spend around ten hours for college six days a week, then additional studying and assignments. It would be hard to blog daily.
  4. I’m proud of being a fangirl. I love my love for books, gushing about book-related things, the expression on people’s faces when I talk non-stop about stories and basically everything.
  5. I’m also proud of being a vegetarian. Almost every non-vegetarian I meet remarks about how much I’m missing in life and that I should try non-veg food. Since I’ve been a vegetarian all my life (not even had an egg!), this makes the said people more determined to convince me to convert. Honestly, I don’t care. This is one tradition I’m proud of and will stay this way until I don’t want to.
  6. I have a lot of friends, but most of them aren’t close. I can mingle with almost everyone and adapt but there would be only a few I would cry to at night. I give out a vibe of extraversion but I just fake all of it.
  7. Following up.. I have quite some best friends. I actually have five! Four girls and one guy. It took years for me to become really close to them but we’re all really close. I love them ❤
  8. I put a lot of effort into maintaining relationships. I try to make sure I speak to all my friends and not leave anyone out, even if we’re not in the same school anymore. But this also makes it hard for me to accept and let go when they stop talking and move on while trying to gently let me down. Since I also put so much effort, losing it all makes me sad everytime I think of, hear of or see the person.
  9. I’m organised and clutter-brained. This is true, actually. The reason I keep organised is because my mind is totally NOT. I’ll never get anything done if I rely on my mind alone.
  10. I over-think actions, words and relationships. I think of what would/could happen; how I would feel then. I also doubt a lot about how I’m perceived. I’m always under-confident and replay my words later to see if I might have offended anyone unintentionally. I try to remain cool, be liked, and say sorry a lot.
  11. I’m a rule follower. I hate breaking rules and rebelling against my parents. Considering that not-dating is also an unspoken, accepted rule, I think so many times about dating and finally decide not to.

These eleven facts about me basically is me in a nutshell. Now, you have more of an idea of how I am.

Do you relate with me on anything? What is your personality in a nutshell?

My first relationship, which was so very short — September 11, 2016

My first relationship, which was so very short

This has turned into a very long post, get ready.


If you’ve been following me on twitter for a while, you might have seen a few tweets of mine talking about it. It was short. It began on a high and ended like a full stop in the middle of a sentence. I also talked about this in my last blog post a bit.

I realise that I gave the link of this blog to a few friends in college and they might read this, but I have to say all of this. This is a completely personal post guys. No entertainment stuff, this once. I know I don’t post personal posts much but I had to talk about this, and after all, I never stuck this blog to a theme anyway. Here goes.

 

I met this guy (we shall call him AD) end of July and in the beginning of August we said I like you to each other and went on a date and stuff.

I’m writing this on September 5th, the night before my first internal tests start in college. I’m supposed to be studying hard right now because I’ve hardly studied for this test tomorrow and it’s the most difficult subject of this semester. But I’m sitting and typing this.

We broke up yesterday.

One month and three days after we said I like you to each other. Less than a month since we started dating.

It was going pretty fine until 3rd. Although around then I wasn’t sure anymore if we fit together. We’re completely different, in almost all ways. It was sometimes hard to find things to talk about. But we liked each other. But I wasn’t sure. I spoke to a couple friends and told them my doubts about this relationship and that I couldn’t see where this was going and I couldn’t really picture a future. I tried and I somehow couldn’t see us a few months later. I wondered if we rushed into this and should have gotten to know each other more first.

I wasn’t sure how to bring it up but yesterday, he brought it up. We each confessed that we couldn’t see this going anywhere and it just didn’t seem right, like, we’re not meant for each other. In the end, we decided that we’d remain friends because we are good friends. It’s just not more than that, maybe. He said he loved me in the beginning but now he didn’t know. I said I like him. He said that two people in love be in a relationship. I’m someone who didn’t believe in true romantic love until last year. I develop feelings slowly. I said love doesn’t happen this fast. (Totally different outlooks, see?)

The thing that makes me sad, is that it was a short relationship, and an even shorter break up. Legit, that conversation could fit in four screenshots. That’s it.

We were pretty calm and we had the same idea. It was the most diplomatic/civil break up ever. I was honestly relieved he brought it up. We parted friends.

This actually was happening when my mom was sitting next to me (Indian household, my family didn’t know I was in a relationship) and I couldn’t even show proper expressions or reactions. After the conversation was over, I went to the bathroom and just breathed in front of the mirror.

I was relieved, yes. Was I sad? I didn’t know.

My best friend Hem, who is basically my life, came online after I texted her and I told this to her. We spoke.. she inferred that I was fine and calm and not sad or hysterical. She said it was best that we spoke and prevented a messy relationship and ending later on. What she said was right. AD said that he wanted to clear things up now itself because he didn’t want to hurt me later on. He apologised if he hurt me but it would have just been more later. I told him not to worry and that I’m glad he brought it up.

I was fine. I was. I only had this disappointment that it lasted for less time and I actually like him enough to go out with him. I’ve been asked out before, but I never said yes.

I also realised that AD and I didn’t talk all that much like I expect couples would. In fact, yesterday we didn’t speak the whole day before “the convo” except good morning texts. While yesterday night, I spoke to my best friend DJ for two and a half hours and we only stopped because it was 1am and my parents scolded me as my voice was echoing through the house. DJ is just my best friend but that is how it’s supposed to be in relationships, right? I honestly have no idea even though I’ve read so many books. I’m so clueless.

The thing is, AD has been in a relationship before and I also felt slightly inferior as I didn’t know anything about being in a relationship. I also felt awkward to ask him “how are we supposed to be”. No one asks that, right? I was continually confused and wondered if our relationship was fine and how it’s for everyone.

Maybe I thought about this last before I slept because I had a dream next morning and AD and I were still together and happy in that. I woke up. I felt sad.

That sadness finally hit me. As I would, I texted Hem whatever I felt and whatever came to mind. I might have also shed some tears. Talking to Hem always makes me feel better. She says talking to me heals her. If we were bisexual or homosexual, I bet we’d get married. Unfortunately, we’re straight. But we’re soul mates ❤

Back to the point, that’s the gist of how I feel and I was pretty sad until afternoon. Then I went out and met DJ as he came back home from college for a couple days and we had to meet, being best friends. I felt fine from then. But yeah, that’s me.

I’m sorta sad, but not that much. I know I’ll be fine. But until then, seeing him will be a little difficult.

I looked at his pictures on my phone at least twice now. When I was forwarding some emails with college material to friends, I searched his name in the college list too. I searched twice, just to see his name. I felt sad. I hit enter, the compose box came up. I stared at it for a couple seconds and closed it. I guess it’s just the feeling of what could have been that makes me sad.

And now it’s 9:10pm. I hardly know anything in Elements of Electrical Engineering. I need to go study.

I also have his bracelet, I need to give it back to him. That’s going to be awkward. I saw the bracelet when I opened my accessories drawer and just looked at it for two minutes. A bit sad then too.

But, I’ll be fine. I’m not someone who falls in love or gets way too attached soon anyway. I’m also good at friendzoning guys who like me (done it twice before). I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine. It’ll all be fine. I just gotta give it a few days.

If you stuck through till here, you’re the best! I know this post is hardly structured and fully personal. Thank you for reading 🙂

K bye now. I gotta study *inwardly cries in desperation*

 

Update:

It’s 8th sep now. I really wanted to write more and get it all out but I had tests, as you know. After the ELE test I mentioned above, we had two tests a day for the last two days. Therefore, I couldn’t even open my laptop, let alone blog. It was hectic but not as over-whelming as I thought it would be. My ELE went fine, in case you’re wondering from all the ranting I did.

Now, how am I feeling?

Fine.

I was missing him a bit yesterday but maybe that was because I saw him in college and stuff. Now that we’re “friends”, we talk normally and somehow we didn’t even have an “awkward” stage. We talk fine and normally like friends do. Should I be relieved? I don’t know.

So, yeah. I think I’m moving on. I think he’s moving on. We hardly formed a connection and so, it’ll be easy to let go. I have mood swings and suddenly feel jealous of him hanging around with others or that he isn’t next to me but other times, I’m cool. And my friends are really cool and supportive in college. Two of them actually took me aside yesterday and asked if I was alright and stuff. AD and I didn’t openly say that we broke up, he told a couple people, but others caught on or noticed. I’m not really regretting the last month because I’m not really hurt or heartbroken, so it’s just as if the last month was a dream and I’m back to the me I was before.

So, yeah. That’s it.

Also, bombshell, I think he’s dating again. Already.

I saw them together today.. and they were pretty much like we used to be and in the same damn spot and I wasn’t sure what I saw and was totally blank and confused. My friends led me aside and from their behavior I confirmed that this was also why those two friends took me aside yesterday and spoke to me. I was so mad on the way home in bus. I discretely cried a bit but after that I was just MAD. So pissed. I cursed him a lot. I had to bite my arm discretely so I wouldn’t scream in the bus right there in front of everyone. It’s not even been a WEEK. A couple of my friends noticed that I looked so off. Later when the bus was almost empty, one friend (she is also in my bestie squad from school) asked me and I told her. I had to repeat four times for her to actually get it. She first asked me if he was dating me and why I phrased it like that. THEN, when she finally got it, she was so shocked. She was there with me and AD yesterday! He was totally normal and it was almost like how we used to be when dating, sitting next to each other while with friends. He also put a earbud in my ear to make me listen to a song he was listening to. It was a song that shared with him and…

I came home and spoke to one of those two friends, and C (let’s call her that) replied that she herself didn’t know. They had planned to corner AD and interrogate him as they saw him and that girl for the first time yesterday together like they were together. She said they couldn’t do it yet as we didn’t even see AD till the end of day.

Can I just—no.

A friend who I sit with in class and the first one I told about this to today in bus told me I had two choices: either to completely ignore him or to clear it up with him. I think I’ll take up the former. I’m pretty sure if I talk to him, I’ll burst. And it’ll become way bigger than required and no one wants that. He and I also have the same group of friends so that’ll be awkward, and I don’t want to put them in a position to choose sides. I’m completely cutting him off. I haven’t given his bracelet back yet as I kept forgetting to. I think I’ll just hand it to a friend and tell them to pass it on to him. I don’t think I can see him face-to-face and stay straight-faced.

I’m still slightly dumbfounded at the fact that all of this happened in such a short span. Wow.

Yeah, relationships are not my thing.

No thanks.

I’ll just go back to being how I was and put on a gas mask when there’s love in the air.

 

I know this post is totally unstructured and unedited. Thanks for bearing with me.

P.S. can I talk about how much I love Hem again because she’s all like “let’s meet up tomorrow and curse him together” lol

 

Update

September 11th afternoon.

I don’t know if I should be glad that I scheduled this post a week later (today evening for me) which allows me to keep updating and let y’all know what happens at once, or pity you that you have to read through so much. The day after the rant above, I was okay. My day went average and I didn’t cry or spend time only thinking about it.

Anyway, to the next update.

I went to my first party yesterday! It was a fresher’s party for all the freshman of college this year. The party has people from two colleges and there was another party elsewhere too. The one that I went to was really good! I loved it.

I’m a music person and a dance person but I don’t do either well. Plus, I don’t usually dance in front of others or put music on loud speakers. But this was a party, and none of that mattered! I danced a lot, jumped, shouted, smiled and danced more. I got all sweaty and my hair looked ugly but who cared. Not me.

AD was there too with our friends (not all went to the party since there was college during the time) and after a couple seconds of hesitation, I gave him a side hug.

Throughout the party, I just danced with many of my friends, our group and others likewise. I didn’t care about the break up or anything and neither did he, so for a few hours we danced together like nothing changed. Sure, it wasn’t all the time but we danced together a lot. We also took a few selfies together, and the group photos, of course. A couple of my friends thought we got back together, actually, because we were so chill. Later, I told them it wasn’t the case and also about my suspicions about the other girl. One guy replied that he and C get really annoyed when that girl is with AD everywhere nowadays, especially C. This was new news for me.

I danced so much, I became so tired, and it was so so so fun. The music ❤ A few times I only moved my feet slowly, closed my eyes and just felt the music all around me. I loved it.

After, we all went out to have some food and left for home.

Fast forward to today.

My friends (who didn’t come for the party) saw the pictures and commented how we looked good together. The earlier mentioned bestie from school said that we look so good together and have that chemistry and just fit but she also couldn’t tell me to get back with him as she knows. She said a couple times that she’s not liking this and this is so stupid. Oh well.

Yeah, I might have looked around for him in the party a few times to know where he is. Yeah, I still do kinda like him. But it’s over, and done. AD and I didn’t speak anything about our feelings or the past. Nothing. We just danced and we’re still at the same point.

C didn’t come to the party either but saw the pictures through friends’ phones and became so confused. Today, during the short break, when I went up to our spot, I saw him first speaking to some people I couldn’t see but my friends weren’t around so I figured he was with her. I turned around and would have left if C didn’t call my name, they were standing a little inside, that’s why I couldn’t see them.

And yeah, he was with her. I wasn’t all that surprised. C pulled me aside and asked to tell her everything and what the hell is going on. I told her the basics, that we didn’t care for a few hours, just danced and that’s it; now he’s back with her, I guess. (They aren’t official or anything, but if it is so soon, I wouldn’t be caught off guard) C just asks me if I’m alright, I say I’m fine and that I had a lot of fun yesterday and that’s it. I had given her his bracelet yesterday so she could pass it on and she told me she gave it before I came, I said fine.

Although I’m not exactly sad, it does give a small jab, seeing him with her. About 10 minutes later I said that I have to go back to class early for something and rushed off. Awkward feelings.

And I’m home now, and fine. I bet if I go back and count how many times I’ve said “I’m fine” in this post, I’m sure it would be a huge number. But, that’s all I can say. I’m not heartbroken or devastated, I’m not amazing or great—I’m just fine.

Thanks for reading through, and I’ll get back to the usual theme of posts from next.

Bye for now 🙂

A description of my college life — September 9, 2016

A description of my college life

college life

Brace yourselves, this could be a long one.

Now how do I fit everything into one post? 

Hey everyone!

If you’ve been following me for a while, you might be knowing that I began college this year and have spoken about it quite some. I kept postponing personal posts (it’s been a long while since I did one) and now there’s so much to say. I’m dividing this post into sections so this will look at least a bit structured, lol. So here goes.

My routine

I wake up around 5:45 am every morning and get onto the college bus at 6:50am. Then there’s around an hour of journey (changes everyday considering the traffic). On two days of the week, I have my day filled with classes with two breaks and the rest days I have some hours off after lunch, it varies.

Since I travel in college bus, I have to wait till 4pm even if my classes get over earlier, to come home. I have to change three times in public buses otherwise. I could get a cab but I’ve got friends whom I can hang out and chill with, and I sometimes study in the library so it’s all cool. I reach home around 5:30pm and will be very tired everyday, but I manage to not sleep and do assignments. Also, I consider the nights I sleep for seven hours success nights.

Till now, I’ve hardly studied because I keep doing assignments and completing my lab records for every week. The days I’m slightly free, I use it for other stuff like me-time, meeting friends or miscellaneous life work.

Since I don’t study at home, I usually revise in the bus ride in the morning. I have an hour so I can do quite some. Also, I sit with a friend who loves studying with people so we both discuss and stuff. Whenever I have class tests, I just read in the bus.

Friends

I’ve become quite the social butterfly. And compared to my old self I’m pretty much a social diva now.

In the beginning I was part of a group of 6-7 girls. Soon, a guys group combined with us so we became 14-15 (I never counted heads). There’s one girl among us who is the core of our group. Any person who is her friend is tagged along and recruited to the group. This happened so much and for a couple weeks everyday someone kept getting added so we just started calling them “recruits”and made jokes about what they expect as a salary.

There are two floors in our cafeteria (or canteen, cuz we call it that) and half the second floor is OURS. When all of us are there, we take up the whole area. When the benches are there, some of us sit or dump our bags on them. Otherwise, like today, when the floor is empty we just plump down on the floor and claim the area more. We have absolutely no hesitation or reservation before sitting on the floor, and we own it. Yeaah! *fist pump*

Let me give you a small snippet of one day.

My friend Neethu from school (part of my bestie squad of 6 including me) was waiting for another person to go home with since her classes ended pretty soon. I’ve introduced her once before when we were 14-15 and one of the guys saw her and brought her up. She’s seen my group members before but that day, somehow everyone was there at once and we made a crowd. Anyway, Shibaji brought her up and I was speaking to her. Suddenly another friend cuts in and she’s staring blankly at her. Shibaji suggests introducing her to everyone and I promptly remarked that it was a good idea, linked my arm with her and took her to one corner. From there, started the introductions.

I gave hardly 20 seconds for every person because there were just so many people and the lunch break would be over soon. It was like, “Akhilesh this is Neethu. Neethu this is Akhilesh.” Step forward. “Aman this is Neethu. Neethu, Aman.” And so on. It was so hurried and fast and I was over-excited for her to meet everyone. I was just jumping from one person to another, getting impatient when people asked her name again since they couldn’t hear properly over the noise.

In the end, after so many people, I finally looked over and said, I think that’s it. There might be others who aren’t here though.” Just after I said that, a guy turns from the stairs and I wave to him, calling him over, and introduce them. Again, I say I think that’s it and another guy comes then. I introduce them too. By then, Neethu became tired smiling and saying her name and hello over so many times, that she asked me not to introduce anymore. I told her that I know she’ll hardy remember anyone’s names, and that it was the same for me. I told her, “If you see them somewhere then just smile and say hi. If any of them smile at you or wave, just respond, even if you only vaguely remember their faces. They might not remember your name, and you might not remember their’s but no one cares. You’re all friends now. Learn their names slowly later.” And she just laughed at me, as anyone would.

She actually has her own friends group from her class who she hangs out with. But whenever someone is introduced fully, they automatically become a part of our group and a few of my friends (who met her for the first time that day) asked about her the next day. I replied that she has her own group and they replied, “why’d you introduce her like that then?” I replied, “because she’s my bestie?” They accepted that. So yeah, they all just assumed she’s part of us. On the way back home that day I told her that they asked about her and to come up once in a while to say hi. She laughed again.

Also, since we’re such a big group, someone or the other is free when you are and you’ve always got company. That’s why I don’t mind waiting until 4pm, because I’ve got my friends and I’m never alone.

Sure, other than this group I’ve got friends too. Somehow, none of the girls from my group are in my class so I have other friends. Then there are mutual friends and it just goes on.

I love this in college. The knowing-so-many-people. I meet a new person and we have mutual friends! My friends talk about someone and I’m like I know them too! I don’t know everyone, obviously, but I know enough.

Me in college

Wow, I’ve changed. This section, is in need of bullet points.

  • Let’s start small. I got a haircut! I’ve never sported this short look before and I’m loving it! What’s freedom? SHORT HAIR.  Here’s a picture I posted on instagram a while back showing it.
short hair passenger me.jpg
Today has been a great day! I received Passenger from Amazon, got a chic new haircut and watched a movie! How was your day? | @iridescence_y
  • I realised I’m now ambivert. I was actually INTJ. But recently, I started re-evaluating and realised that I’m becoming an extrovert! All because of you guys! There’s also a lot to say under this and other stuff, so you might be seeing another post all about me soon.
  • College sucks up my life so I don’t have much else to say about improvements and changes (except one, which deserves to be a whole section, as per me).
  • I still keep up with my bestie squad and friends. I actually meet up with Hema (my very bestie) a lot. I also talk about her so much that everyone I speak to often in college knows about her through stories. Once, Aneesha actually asked, “who is this Hema girl?!/” and Swapna, the girl I sit with in class replied, “I know right, she talks about her A LOT.” I just smiled, because I do talk about her a lot. Hema is a part of me in a different body. She a part of my heart. And I’m going to stop here before I become way more cheesy.
  • And now, to the next point which is a MAJOR thing. An announcement, more like.

I am in a relationship**

When I initially told this to my bestie squad, this was the reaction I got:

*blank face*

*finally registers after a minute*

*realises I’m not joking*

Whut? What? When? How?

Seriously?

YOU?

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YOU BETTER NOT BE KIDDING ME

*more shock expressions*

*hanging open mouths*

I want to know everything. NOW.

OMG THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING

YOU

*gasp*

And so on. You get the gist.

Remember when I published a post saying Advantages of being in a relationship, from someone who has never been in one? “From someone who has never been in one”. Not anymore people, not anymore.

I honestly don’t know how this happened. And I’m still pretty dumbfounded that someone actually likes me enough to put up with my craziness. This was me every time I remembered that I actually have a boyfriend during then: Whut. 

So, yeah.

Let me tell you the reaction of a close friend from school:

Me: Oh maybe I should tell you this.. since you’ll kill me if I tell you any later. I told a guy I like him.

Her: *abruptly stops walking*

Me: *realises I left her behind a few feet later* *turns back*

Her: *open mouth* *shouts* CHUME! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY

Me: *starts laughing because I’ve already received such reaction before and it never stops being hilarious*

—some more shocked reactions and blah blah—

Her: YOU SAID THAT. TO AN ACTUAL BOY. NOT A FICTIONAL ONE. REALLY!

Me: Yep.

Her: What’d he say?!

Me: *expecting a huge reaction so slowly says* he likes me too…

Her: *squeals so loud everyone on the street stares at us*

Me: *shushing her and laughing hard*

She took an hour to get over it. And you know what she said in the end? That she can finally talk to me about boys because I’ve been least interested before and wouldn’t get it at all. Well. Of course, she also yelled at me for telling her a whole week later, but we’ll skip that.

**I wrote this post when I was still IN the relationship. If you follow me on twitter, you might know that we broke up. A whole post coming on it soon, because I need to rant.

 

 

And that’s it, for now.

I thought this would be way longer, and I’m glad it isn’t because my life isn’t all that scintillating to capture your attention for a long span of time. I’ll go back to crying about not having enough time to read books now. What else would you expect from me? I haven’t changed all that much.

 

Any new interesting things happen in your life? Are you crying about lack of time to read too? Are you crying in general because school/college takes up all your time? Let me know below and we’ll wail about our woes together 😛

 

 

College and Pokemon Go — July 23, 2016

College and Pokemon Go

Written on Wednesday, 20 July.

College and Pokemon go

Hey everyone! It’s been a while since I did a personal post, right?

I got into a college! The official semester hasn’t started yet, it will on the 1st of August. Until then, we can go for a type of bridge course where they teach/revise the pre-requisites that we should know to understand engineering concepts well.

We’re about 120 students now from six engineering courses. We have different classes, of course. Later, way more students will join and it’ll be great (I hope)!

I have college from 8am to 3:30pm for now and about 30-40 minutes of travelling to and fro. I’m a day scholar, as will be most of the students. Only a small percentage live in the hostel (dorm). The regular college hours are 8am to 4pm. We have a half an hour break at 10 and an hour break for lunch starting 12:30pm. Other than that, classes classes classes.

From what the teachers have taught in these three days, I like the teaching way better than how it was in school. I am pretty interested and I actually understand as they are explaining from the basic concepts while in school it was all “need to know for exam” type of teaching. This is Indian educational system don’t ask.

The first day was on Monday and the first half went as I thought it would-with me not talking to anyone and being a loner. During the half an hour break I decided I cannot be like this (a quiet loner that some of my friends told I would be like) and said hi to a guy who was sitting next to me, also alone and texting on whatsapp. We both realised we were in the same boat as both of us are not approaching people. After that, a girl introduced herself to me and I became fast friends with her and her friends. (She also loves books!)

Compared to the hardly-anyone-reads crowd I had in school where I had to convert friends into readers, half the people in my temporary class are readers and I somehow feel like I have to be unique again (because even though I’m spotlight-shy, I like being different) so now all I have is blogging (yay!).

It’s been three days and already many of us have formed groups and are sticking to one now. The thing is, in a week or so, way more new students will start coming with the normal semester and we might get shuffled, get new friends and see some old faces too. I like the friends I have right now but I miss the camaraderie I have with guy friends from my squad. Of course the guys in my batch now aren’t the same but I’m feeling the all-girl group thing which I’m not really a fan of anymore. A couple guys from my school are joining my college with the new sem and one of my besties too! Stoked for the actual sem to start!

Also, I finally got Pokemon Go this sunday, about which I even tweeted quite a bit (its a hint for: go follow me on twitter @mebeingquixotic). The official version hasn’t released here yet (which it would have if so many people hadn’t bombarded servers that they’re working on expanding it for those areas more than releasing for us!) so I was hesitant of viruses as a by -product of the unofficial. A few of my friends found a safe version though and I finally got it!

I’m in level five now, and my residential area sucks for catching Pokemon. The only good thing is that I have a Pokestop right next to my building to which I can even go in pyjamas because its that close. In my college I get a lot though! And even on the way to and back since I travel about 14 kilometres (I don’t know it in miles). I’m on level 5 now but haven’t joined a team yet because I’m hesitant about which to join. Around my place all gyms are owned by the Valor (red) team and I want to join blue. Many from my squad are joining red because its prevalent and strong etc but what’s the point? Might as well try to overthrow instead of going with the flow. Right? I think I’ll join Mystic (the blue one) just because I like blue and the name is nice.

What’s up in your life? Anything new and interesting happen? Tell me! Also, do you play Pokemon Go? Which level are you and have you joined any team? Lets talk in the comments about our addiction to the game!

Blogging career update — June 19, 2016

Blogging career update

You have no idea how excited (and slightly dumbfounded) I feel to say “blogging career”. It’s like I actually have a career of it!

A few days back, I received a message on my Instagram about offering me a position in an online website. I replied to the given email immediately and got a reply admiring my posts and offering a position as contributor in the site.

I was a bit hesitant and asked some questions bur finally, I accepted it last night!

I’m slightly worried about whether it would make my time hectic when I’m in college, with posting there regularly. But I figured I’ll sort it out then and to at least be a part of that team for the next month.

I spoke to my friend DJ whom I message anytime I am hesitant about something or to even just proofread my blog posts. He assured me and stuff, and I felt glad that I got such an opportunity!

So yeah, long story short, I accepted to join their team. The site just started this year, I believe, and they have high aims.

Oh have I not told you the link for it yet?

It’s www.mytrendingstories.com

In other news… my blog has turned five months on 16 the of this month. I didn’t post about it but I really want to do something for six months. I don’t have enough cash for a giveaway (I think I’ll leave that for one year blogversary). I have some scraps of an idea in mind but it’s not fully developed yet. More news soon 🙂

And lastly, do you know that I’m co-hosting a twitter chat on the 29th of this month? Visit this post for all the details.

That’s all for today! I hope you have a great day ahead 🙂

Life Update — June 15, 2016

Life Update

Hey everyone!

Gear up to read about my woes in life.

So today’s post is up very early (sarcasm). As much as I get a lot of ideas for blog posts to publish everyday, I DO run out sometimes or feel uninspired. That was today. I do have idea but my internet was not working and I don’t like to type up complete embellished posts on my phone ever since WordPress updated a tiny detail which makes it impossible for me to link sites in my posts. Stop with small nonsense Chum.

I planned on NOT posting today and felt very disappointed to upset my track record. I was feeling so bad that I thought why not just so a miscellaneous post. Sure I won’t really get much stats in today because according to my timeline this day ends in a couple hours.

I’m sitting at home doing nothing. I had a few gatherings with my friends which were really fun. I think I’ve done enough posts about my love for my friends so I’ll not repeat again here. I don’t have anything important to do and that kind of sucks because I’m so used to not having enough time to chill everyday. How do you guys survive in summer without school OR homework?? I’ve only had one summer off like this but that was pretty okay since I anyway had some work to do.

This summer? I have NOTHING to do. Well, not anymore. All my exams are over and I’ve got a whole month to myself. Both my parents have work so I don’t think we’ll be going for a vacation; my friends are off in their vacations and doing their own things most of the time.

Okay seriously one (I think one) ambulance has gone left and right past my house THREE times and I’m afraid they aren’t able to find the house they’re looking for. If it’s three ambulances, I hope the people are not in their golden hour. Recently I’ve been hearing the siren of more and more ambulances. I hope that it’s because the service has improved and not that more people are in critical conditions.

Back to my life… I can feel one of my coveted friendships breaking. Pretty sure we’re halfway to being had-been-something strangers. If you’ve been following my posts for a pretty long while, you know Kav, who became my best friend the last year and there was so much drama amongst my friends with territorial jealousy. There was an incident and ever since then she’s warned me not to call her because her father took her phone. I think her family view me as a bad influence (and I’m obnoxious enough to say for no reason).

I’ve been trying to contact her through email and Facebook. But she’s stopped coming on Facebook (wasn’t that attached earlier on too) and doesn’t reply to my emails. I’m trying here but it seems like she’s fine succumbing to her parents and for all the talk about being besties forever and becoming flatmates one day, it seems an awful lot like she doesn’t care.

(The ambulance/another one went past again. I’m worried.)

I heard from one of my other friends who heard from another girl that Kav has joined a college. It might not seem like a big deal but—we used to send back and forth more than 500 messages in two weeks. I always knew EVERYTHING about her before anyone else. And now I hear that she is speaking to some girl, whom she was not as close to as me, regularly. I mean, she is active on Twitter! Don’t ask me how, since she supposedly doesn’t have a phone, but she is. On a whim I checked her account. I don’t follow her from my blog Twitter account so I don’t receive her tweets and she believes that I left Twitter because I did delete my personal account. I thought SHE wasn’t active!

I called her up yesterday in the evening when I knew her dad would be home. I thought since it’s been almost a month, Kav could at least get away for a few minutes. No such luck. I asked her if she could talk and she promptly said no. Even I could hear the pathetically hurt tone when I said “Oh ok”. She said, like she’s trying to let down a child slowly without hurting, “you know you’re not supposed to call, right.” She has NEVER used that tone with me. I felt like shouting at her but I ultimately stammered an apology, saying maybe some other time (which would never come) and hung up before she could say anything else. I hoped she would call back using someone else’s phone or somehow today. Not one peep.

I didn’t want to rant in this blog and made a journal entry yesterday ranting about this but apparently it’s not enough. I was completely down last night, and I’ve been slightly moping around today, trying to come to terms with it. It’s not even drifting apart! It’s very sudden. Spitefully thinking, I bet she talks to that girl and one guy friend we have in common. She could have just told him not to tell me, and he wouldn’t. He’s a great friend. He wouldn’t tell it to my face.

After supporting her, giving her a shoulder to cry on, staying by her side when she was sad about losing her other best friend and not leaving her when my other friends didn’t like that she was “stealing” me from them; I don’t get it. I guess I should be happy I didn’t stop being friends with my squad because they don’t like her. Sure, she doesn’t like them much as well.

I figured if we ever strayed, it would be by drifting apart and not her cutting me off.

Sorry this hasn’t been much of a life update and instead me ranting.  I didn’t feel like writing up a complete proper post about something.

Don’t even get me started on recent events. I suck at talking about these things because most of the time I’m just blank with despair and sadness. Putting my thoughts into proper words doesn’t happen. These past few days have been sad. That’s all I can say.

Celebrating 4 months and (almost) 300 followers! — May 16, 2016

Celebrating 4 months and (almost) 300 followers!

Hello everybody!

Today marks four months of blogging and my blog now stands at 298 followers!

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If you’ve read my 100 followers post, you’d know that I expected maximum 20 followers. Why that number, you ask? Because that many people fill a room. That is a lot for me and seeing the number of followers now, I’m astounded.

In 121 days, I’ve published 230 posts, which is a lot (?). I’m starting to think maybe I shouldn’t post two posts a day anymore (which I tend to do a lot).

I was really hoping I’d get 300 by today but I have up on it a few days back and now I see how close I am… aargh!

Anyway, I don’t really have any new thing to post or day or give to celebrate this. I do have a really cool idea though that I might do for 6 months blog birthday. (Hint: it involves all of you)

Thank you for following me, supporting me and being amazing people on this blogosphere. I wouldn’t be here without you and I most likely would have given up blogging after a while if I hadn’t received such amazing support and feedback.

Thank you so so so so much! Now I hope you don’t mind if I add any and every type of heart emoticon that I find.

💖💗💙💚💛💜❤💔💕💓💟💞💝❣💌

Applying for a university — May 14, 2016

Applying for a university

Hello everybody!

In 10th grade, I went to a science fest hosted by a really well known college representing the school. There were about 20 or so of us and so many other schools participated too.

The fest was held for grades 10, 11 and 12 and pre-university students (11th and 12th grades but of different system of education) in the main university instead of the sister pre-university. It was really cool and we walked around a lot and checked out the university too.

In 11th grade I again went to a fest held by a college (not university this time) for engineering and we saw around a lot too.

This year, I have applied to both of the above mentioned in addition to a few others.

I don’t really want to go to the college though, because I didn’t like it much. The university, on the other hand, I really want to be a part of. Its really well known, offers a huge number of courses across various campuses in the city and has an amazing body of students and alumni.

As per my mom’s wishes, I did apply for Computer Science engineering and wrote various tests for it (another one tomorrow), but I want to do English. After trying to convince my mom and giving up a few times, I finally got her to at least let me apply for English.

Today, we went to te university to apply and it seems even better than how I saw it in 10th grade. The admission block is HUGE and it’s so cool. I love the ambiance of the classes and there are small eateries here and there along with a small cafeteria in the basement of the admissions building (more like a mansion). In the cafeteria there was a small shop selling the university’s goodies like jumpers, hoodies, tshirts, notepads, pens, bags etc.

Submitting the application proved to be a hard task and I had to run around a lot. Apparently we have to apply both offline AND online, hand over copies of our results of previous two years, four different sized photos and also the receipt of the application form.

By mistake, I left the receipt at home and in place of it brough the one for engineering (in my defence, they look the same) and didn’t have one of the sizes of photos. Also, after applying online AFTER filling the paper application, I have to print that out too and give them together.

Thankfully, in the basement near the cafeteria, there was a cyber cafe with print, xerox, and stuff for students of the university. Since many people were also suffering with the same issue as mine, most of us had to run around and print things from online. I got my dad to scan the receipt from home and send it to my mail, from where I printed it there. Also, since I had one size of photos, the boys working in that shop somehow scanned it and printed in the other size.

I swear, if that cyber place was not there, most of us applicants would have not been able to submit our application today. Thankful that the people working there were really efficient and helpful.

My mum and I had to do so much. I managed to keep my temper down while mum lost hers once and threw a tantrum like a petulant child. I’m complaining because I was the one running around and thinking of next plan of action while she just sat and looked at me or followed me around. She blamed me for not bringing everything and to calm her down, I said it’s my fault, when really mum didn’t ask everything while bringing the application home a couple days back. *Small rant over*

In the middle we had to wait for my dad to go home and send scan so we roamed around a bit. The hostel area is so cool! There are a couple small bird parks, a small area for ducks and chicken and a couple white pigeon were flying around in an area too!

In my post The sky, the wind, trains and momos, I mentioned never seeing birds do it, well, I saw today in the bird park. I didn’t understand why the yellow bird was humping the blue one from a weird angle at first and after a couple seconds it hit me. My mom said it too. So weird. They literally did it in front of us, standing on a wire. I looked away but later while going back I caught sight of them and this time they were doing it in another way. I was weirded out and partly fascinated lol.

We weren’t allowed to see the girls’ dorms but we saw the outside of the boys and it was really nice. Plus the dorms are inside the campus and really close to the classes buildings so very comfortable. 

We finised it all by 1 (finally!) and headed home. I left home at 8:30am and reached back at 1:45pm. Took so bloody long.

Sure, on the way home when mum kept saying that this is just a fallback option and how somehow she’ll get me into an engineering college, I lost it and snapped at her saying that I’m only applying and writing tests for engineering because she wants me to otherwise I wouldn’t do it of my own accord. I told her to stop saying that this is a fallback option and how engineering is better when I want to do this and NOT engineering. I stopped talking to her after that. I get a concession right? Because I kept my cool the whole time and let her scold me that it’s my fault it took so long. I’m human after all. I am speaking to her normally now but I’m gonna go ahead and forgive myself for snapping at her.

Now I’m studying for the entrance test for another university for Engineering which is tomorrow. Honestly, I haven’t studied much until a few days back and I feel like I forgot everything. I just can’t take the pains to be tensed and study like shit anymore; I just can’t. I’ll do my best tomorrow and if I don’t get qualified, I don’t. That’s it.

There’s an interview for the course I applied for today on 22nd and I have absolutely no idea what to expect because no one I know personally took English at all, rather from that university. I’m just going to try to insert mentioning my blog and books somewhere and hope for the best!

If you’ve read until here, I sorta sympathise with you because I’m not sure all of it made sense and how you stayed with me till here, I don’t know.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a lovely day ahead!

The sky, the wind, trains and momos — May 13, 2016

The sky, the wind, trains and momos

My friends and I met up again today! For a change, instead of my house we went to my friend JK’s house which is the other end of our line (if you connect all our houses in a line). There were eight of us—six girls (my basic friends group) and two guys we’re good friends with. Since eleventh grade our circle has kind of expanded. We still remain six but others freely join in a lot.

After that around 5 we went up to the terrace and the view was so good! We’d never been up that building before and there was amazing weather—bright enough but not sunny, windy but not too much and only time-to-time. The sky was filled with clouds (we knew it would rain but not for a while) and I could get a tinge of the smell of rain in the air. Have I ever mentioned how much I love the smell of rain?

We explored the terrace for a while, went around trying to determine the direction and which areas we were facing. We tried pointing out places and buildings we knew, and just aimlessly walked around for a bit. One side of the terrace overlooked a train track and when a train was going by, all of us waved to the passengers. We’d done this once before but it was from the ground so more people had noticed us. Since we were high up this time, many didn’t see us and the ones who did just stared and didn’t reply. Oh well. The passengers in the second train a while later though, some waved back.

After about half an hour we sat down in a circle and talked. We spoke, we laughed, we shouted, we said “What?!” so many times. A few times though there was this weird silence that I addressed the second time it happened. We would laugh a lot and suddenly, cease of all sounds. No sounds from surroundings, no wind, no train, nothing. After years and years of talking about school and exams and complaining, we realised that when we removed those things from our conversation, sometimes it didn’t flow so easily. We got back to it soon though. After I addressed the silence, we caught sight of two pigeons standing on the wall top of the terrace. I said how that was the closest I’ve been to any bird and that starts off a topic. 

Two of my friends, Hema and Maiti, hate pigeons. They go off about how it’s so awkward with two especially because they do it anywhere. Apparently Hema had the front row seat a few times at school and Maiti saw when she was visiting her grandparents. It was so funny the way they described it and the stupid, disgusted, expressions they made.

Hema then says that we shouldn’t even compare that to when dogs, cows and elephants do it. By then all of us were laughing so hard but somehow managed to laugh harder. Why would she even see all that? She says that they had to watch elephants do it in a video in school (bio student) and my other two friends who took bio as well started exclaiming “Why?!” I’ll spare you the rest lol. You might not even be thinking this is funny because of my narration but it was! JK made an offhand comment to Hem, “There is human porn available. Why do you want to watch animal porn?” We all cracked up so much at that. (Just for the record, all of us are virgins and will likely be so until the nights of our respective weddings.)

Later, JK’s younger sister called up and asked if she could join us. We’re kind of the “cool kids” for her (because let me tell you we WERE the cool crowd of our batch). We agreed in return for a bottle of water that she brought up with her. Then we made some conversation with her as well and talked about some decent stuff too (lol), because she’s eleven.

We played hop scotch (I think that’s how it’s spelled in english?) which I would need a whole other post to explain. I think I’ll do that some time. It’s a game that kids play until middle grade and we played it soo long back. JK’s sis recommended it and since it brought up good memories, we decided to play it again. All of went o ly one round though, even that took a lot of time.

Then JK’s parents called and said that they bought some momos and since they knew we were here, bought some for us too. JK and her sister brought them up and we feasted on them while the sky gradually became dark. The thick clouds emphasised it more. I loved it. It was slightly windy, we were having nice food, talking, laughing, enjoying.

Finally just after it became fully dark we headed down and since it had started drizzling as well, the rest of us decided to head home. Hem, Manasa and I borrowed an umbrella just in case it poured suddenly.

And that was it! I reached home around 7:30pm which was almost 4 hours after I left home. But you know what? Time well spent.

I hope you had/have a lovely day as well! Don’t hesitate to tell me about it in the comments 🙂

P.S. We forgot to take any pictures at all beause we were so into the moment—enjoying it ❤

I am not being fake — April 29, 2016

I am not being fake

Starting my audio blog and doing recordings have set off comments about how my accent isn’t Indian and how it sounds fake. I haven’t said anything about it until now but this morning I am feeling very strongly about it.

I KNOW THAT MY ACCENT ISN’T LIKE OTHER INDIANS. I am not trying to mimic Americans or British in an effort to seem more cool. Because lets face it, I am cool enough by myself to not need the accent. I am completely fine and happy being an Indian.

The first language I started speaking was Kannada because the people in the day care I used to go to since I was six months old, as both my parents worked, they spoke Kannada and I learnt that. But I’m a Tamilian. Only after I left day care when I was 7 were my parents able to fully teach me Tamil and reinforce that Tamil in my mother tongue. In the process, I kind of forgot Kannada beause I had no one to speak to in it anymore. Result, I’m not good at either languages.

I’ve been told a lot in real life too how I am not A REAL TAMILIAN because I can’t speak it flawlessly. Well I can’t do anything about that it’s kind of too late now for me to get the accent and flow!

I speak Hindi flawlessly. I don’t mean to brag but I do. I keep getting told that I sound more like a north Indian than a south Indian and most people say that they never thought I’m a Tamilian until I told them. Even though my parents look like proper Tamilians you would understand on sight, I’m more taken to be a north Indian. I don’t know how that happened but I can’t change my looks to look more like a Tamilian! This has been a major problem for me since I was in elementary/primary school.

Even though I write in English, I speak Hindi better. I stutter while speaking in English but Hindi is just perf. I am an Indian. 

Do you have any idea how many times I’ve been told that I don’t sound/look like a person of my heritage? And every single time I’m told that, it sounds like I’ve done a very big crime.

I get the accent because of the number of English tv shows and movies I watch, the number of English songs and I sing and try to sing so perfectly that now I just acquired the accent. I DO watch Hindi shows and movies and listen to Bollywood songs. I DO speak Tamil and listen to a few songs and see a few movies. I DO understand Kannada and Telugu even if I cannot speak it properly.

I have no problem being an Indian and a Tamilian that I would resort to faking my whole self.

 

“You don’t sound like an Indian.”

“You’re more like a north Indian.”

“Are you really a Tamilian?”

“Your accent is fake.”

“Maybe you could try to sound more normal?”

I am who I am. I’m not faking any of this.

Thank you very much. *being sarcastic, if you didn’t get that*