The Journal

Life Update

Hey everyone!

Gear up to read about my woes in life.

So today’s post is up very early (sarcasm). As much as I get a lot of ideas for blog posts to publish everyday, I DO run out sometimes or feel uninspired. That was today. I do have idea but my internet was not working and I don’t like to type up complete embellished posts on my phone ever since WordPress updated a tiny detail which makes it impossible for me to link sites in my posts. Stop with small nonsense Chum.

I planned on NOT posting today and felt very disappointed to upset my track record. I was feeling so bad that I thought why not just so a miscellaneous post. Sure I won’t really get much stats in today because according to my timeline this day ends in a couple hours.

I’m sitting at home doing nothing. I had a few gatherings with my friends which were really fun. I think I’ve done enough posts about my love for my friends so I’ll not repeat again here. I don’t have anything important to do and that kind of sucks because I’m so used to not having enough time to chill everyday. How do you guys survive in summer without school OR homework?? I’ve only had one summer off like this but that was pretty okay since I anyway had some work to do.

This summer? I have NOTHING to do. Well, not anymore. All my exams are over and I’ve got a whole month to myself. Both my parents have work so I don’t think we’ll be going for a vacation; my friends are off in their vacations and doing their own things most of the time.

Okay seriously one (I think one) ambulance has gone left and right past my house THREE times and I’m afraid they aren’t able to find the house they’re looking for. If it’s three ambulances, I hope the people are not in their golden hour. Recently I’ve been hearing the siren of more and more ambulances. I hope that it’s because the service has improved and not that more people are in critical conditions.

Back to my life… I can feel one of my coveted friendships breaking. Pretty sure we’re halfway to being had-been-something strangers. If you’ve been following my posts for a pretty long while, you know Kav, who became my best friend the last year and there was so much drama amongst my friends with territorial jealousy. There was an incident and ever since then she’s warned me not to call her because her father took her phone. I think her family view me as a bad influence (and I’m obnoxious enough to say for no reason).

I’ve been trying to contact her through email and Facebook. But she’s stopped coming on Facebook (wasn’t that attached earlier on too) and doesn’t reply to my emails. I’m trying here but it seems like she’s fine succumbing to her parents and for all the talk about being besties forever and becoming flatmates one day, it seems an awful lot like she doesn’t care.

(The ambulance/another one went past again. I’m worried.)

I heard from one of my other friends who heard from another girl that Kav has joined a college. It might not seem like a big deal but—we used to send back and forth more than 500 messages in two weeks. I always knew EVERYTHING about her before anyone else. And now I hear that she is speaking to some girl, whom she was not as close to as me, regularly. I mean, she is active on Twitter! Don’t ask me how, since she supposedly doesn’t have a phone, but she is. On a whim I checked her account. I don’t follow her from my blog Twitter account so I don’t receive her tweets and she believes that I left Twitter because I did delete my personal account. I thought SHE wasn’t active!

I called her up yesterday in the evening when I knew her dad would be home. I thought since it’s been almost a month, Kav could at least get away for a few minutes. No such luck. I asked her if she could talk and she promptly said no. Even I could hear the pathetically hurt tone when I said “Oh ok”. She said, like she’s trying to let down a child slowly without hurting, “you know you’re not supposed to call, right.” She has NEVER used that tone with me. I felt like shouting at her but I ultimately stammered an apology, saying maybe some other time (which would never come) and hung up before she could say anything else. I hoped she would call back using someone else’s phone or somehow today. Not one peep.

I didn’t want to rant in this blog and made a journal entry yesterday ranting about this but apparently it’s not enough. I was completely down last night, and I’ve been slightly moping around today, trying to come to terms with it. It’s not even drifting apart! It’s very sudden. Spitefully thinking, I bet she talks to that girl and one guy friend we have in common. She could have just told him not to tell me, and he wouldn’t. He’s a great friend. He wouldn’t tell it to my face.

After supporting her, giving her a shoulder to cry on, staying by her side when she was sad about losing her other best friend and not leaving her when my other friends didn’t like that she was “stealing” me from them; I don’t get it. I guess I should be happy I didn’t stop being friends with my squad because they don’t like her. Sure, she doesn’t like them much as well.

I figured if we ever strayed, it would be by drifting apart and not her cutting me off.

Sorry this hasn’t been much of a life update and instead me ranting.  I didn’t feel like writing up a complete proper post about something.

Don’t even get me started on recent events. I suck at talking about these things because most of the time I’m just blank with despair and sadness. Putting my thoughts into proper words doesn’t happen. These past few days have been sad. That’s all I can say.

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