I’m constantly at war about being anonymous or not on this blog. I did tell one of my friends and he’s pretty cool and respects my privacy when I ask him not to read certain posts (thank you DJ) but I haven’t really told anyone else except Kav (she’s my best friend). With her it doesn’t matter because she already knows everything about my life and what I post here. She’s basically my rock, my saving grace and my best cheerleader. (She said she’s planning to make a blog, I hope she will soon). I did mention my name in a few earliest posts of mine, though. Wondering if I should remove my name.
I made a new Twitter account linked to the blog @mebeingquixotic and deleted my personal one (I didn’t use it anyway). So, that’s a bit anonymous. Then there’s email. I see so many bloggers making separate emails. Should I too? I kind of want to because of the idea but I put it on hold for now.
I feel like telling all my friends that I HAVE A BLOG! But, I don’t want them to read it because they don’t know all of this, all my inner thoughts. All they know is that I read books. They don’t even know I try to write for real.
If you’ve read all my posts then you might know that my relationship with my mum is complicated. For a while now I’ve been wanting to put it into words, try to explain how I feel about our relationship. Every time I start to though, I hold back. I wonder if I’m really anonymous and can pour myself out or in the future will my friends and family find it. I’ve decided to chuck that doubt and go ahead with it, but I don’t know how. I still hold back.
Last night, particularly, I felt that need to pour myself out about it. I couldn’t because my parents were asleep as it was late. I remembered about the voice blog posts of Elm, L and Tara (you must be knowing about them). So, in the middle of the night I pretended that I was recording one such post for my readers too and started letting it all out. It was so cathartic, you have no idea. I’m still hesitant to post about my love-hate relationship towards my mum because you must be thinking this is all teenager stuff, right? Nothing special. I feel it’s something deeper but what do I know, it must be normal anyway.
Moving on! I have my chemistry final on Wednesday and I know nothing! At least, it feels that way. Especially the biology chapters of chem, I’m a computer student I cannot remember all these words and drug names! Wish me luck reader.. I paused while studying oligosaccharides to write this post. I need to get back and study.
Have a beautiful day xx